When the Smoke Clears

Certain biologists appear to be proud of their nerditude, expecting us to worship her in her nerdacity. Um, hello? She’s like a research biology professor? Autonerd, anyone?

Apparently they think I’m not such a dork. Apparently they have not seen me walk while holding anything other than a bookbag. Talk about a klutz. I just make [...]

This is how I made one million shims in the stock market. It’s simple. At the present time, any slimy investor with a little extra capital should be able to double his shims in a few months.
All the experts agree that we are nearing the end of the three toed sloth market. [...]

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again:
The beauty of a conspiracy theory is that you are ALWAYS right. Even when people try to present evidence to show how ridiculous the theory is, you can point to the fact that such evidence is further proof since “They” are just trying to create the [...]

A few of y’all have been putting up the calculator of your worth. This is what I came up with on that site:
$4640.00The Cadaver Calculator – Find out how much your body is worth
However, I found another calculator as to how much I am worth as a living being. Considering our overlords will soon [...]

I’m an Apple fanboy. Make no mistake.
But the new iPhone: HEY! it’s just a phone with some extra features. And it’s expensive. And it’s a first generation product of an entirely new product line. Possible problems? You bet.
Y’all who are camping out, most of whom are certainly looking to make a little money [...]

I plan on flying under the radar as much as possible. No volunteering, no answering questions no one else knows, and NONE of my comedy.
Last night’s dream helped:
“Alright, maggots! We are now going to review what we have just learned. It is called the ‘phonetic alphabet’ for a reason,” the drill instructor shouted. [...]

I was in the chair. My CO called. He wanted to be sure I was taken care of with some of the issues of work and getting time off. The days are ticking down.
But instead, the chair. The light above me, the masked people on either side, needles, hooks, picks, probes, drills.
Back to [...]

My views of New York are clouded by the television I watched in the 70s and the great movies from the 50s and 60s. I know it’s nothing like that now, and to be honest I really couldn’t see myself living in that megalopolis. After all, zombie hordes and bio toxins will destroy that place [...]

Last night, my blog-sis Christina mentioned her judge of character as one of her superpowers. “We all have them, you know.”
It’s true. And I’m about to reveal my limited superpowers, lest they remain secret for too long:
1. I can name all 50 states in alphabetical order.
2. I have an overcharged sense of smell. I [...]

I fear what Eric’s score might be and I realize this probably means I’m a bit of a cold-hearted bastard, but I have thought scenarios like this through:
87%
Mingle2 –
Mangled-corpse Tip to Mrs. Who.

Okay, this makes me snork:

Here I was getting all excited about changing my life path and trying to get in the FBI.
Turns out, the following headline is not QUITE what I thought it would be:
FBI tries to fight zombie hordes.
How SWEET a job would that have been? Thanks for nothin’, BBC.

Today’s Phrase: Root Canal.
Let’s go easy on the ice in my Gin & tonic, ‘mkay?
I’ll be over in the corner.

Alright y’all.
I used to think it would be cool to have a twin. I was young. I was an only child. I saw all the neat things in movies about them. After a while I would have preferred a big brother instead, but that wasn’t happening either. Laws of physics. Ask Mom.
But as [...]

Stolen from Richmond, but you know, I don’t think these things are entirely accurate. I mean, who hasn’t cleared their browser history all of a sudden? And how is just having a gay friend impure?

You Are 28% Pure

Pure? Sure, you’re about as pure as yellow snow.
You’re a downright devil. But you’re also a pretty [...]