Scenes From MEPS* (part 1)
June 13th, 2007 by rsm
(*Military Entrance Processing Station… where I had to visit twice.)
A group of seven are gathered around a small table in the chow hall, laughing. Questions flying, speculations about what’s coming up, where people are going.
Kerrie (to RSM): Just make sure they don’t give you Benning. You won’t like that.
RSM: Where are you headed?
Kerrie: Jackson. See if you can get that.
Dmetrius: Dang, me too. See if you can go with us!
RSM: I’ll…
Nick rushes to the table, interrupting…
Nick: Guys… guys… you are NOT going to believe this. I was in there doing the physical stuff and right after you left (points to RSM) this guy comes in. 38-years old, bro. He is 38 and he is trying to join the Army.
Kerrie: No way!
Dmetrius: What the…?
Rob: You gotta be kidding…
RSM: You guys do know how old I am, right?
Dmetrius: Well, yeah, bro, you’re older but you’re not like 38.
Sarah: Yeah, you’re what? like 29?
RSM: Uh… no. Look around the eyes. I’m just about there. But God bless you, girl.
RSM opens his folder, finger on the birthdate and slides it over.
Rob, Sarah, Dmetrius, Nick, Kerrie, Phil, David: …
Nick: Well, you definitely don’t look it. That guy looked like a 38-year-old. You’re like in shape.
RSM: So you’re saying when you turn late 30s you automatically lose shape?
Nick: no… I…
RSM: So you’re saying all I have to look forward to is a fat belly and real soon and there’s nothing I can do about it?
Nick: I … NO…
RSM: Forget it. You’re on the list, boy. I’ll find you.
Kerrie: Something tells me you’re gonna get your ass kicked.
Nick: Aw, Crap. Don’t pick Fort ***.
RSM: Too late.
Hey! ROUND is a shape, isn’t it?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAooooooooh… it hurts.
Gosh, they are all just so naive… and at your age too, behaving like the pied piper.
Maybe your lies will work on them, after all, they’ve not been to many places outside that little mountain of yours.
But YOU, expect US to believe your 38? Dude, I’ve seen your pictures! The Grand Canyon doesn’t have crevices that deep. And as for that miracle anti-wrinkle cream you put on your face nightly… I’d go and ask for my money back… and when you get it, I’d invest that money in buying a really good mirror!
Good Lord. I might as well start digging my grave. Over 40 must be near death in their eyes…
Okay – slap them for me… I’m grandma here. *sigh*
I’m used to this type of thing being 35 at university…I’m the “mom” of the classroom. It’s all good though.