Lessons Learned from Mom

May 13th, 2007 by rsm

* A Corvette is the only practical car to own when living near the ocean.

* Don’t be afraid to laugh at even the most bizarre situations. Everything can be a sitcom or at least a Carol Burnett sketch.

* Cherish your friends and make the effort to stay in touch with them, even when they get too busy to call you. They will surprise you when you need them. (However, if you can’t trust them, cease all contact.)

* Do not force yourself to spend time with people whom you wouldn’t if you weren’t related to them. It’s not worth the aggravation.

* You are a complete and whole person. You do not require someone to complete you. Coming home to someone can be nice, but it is better to come home alone than to someone not worthy of your time and attention.

* Cheap wine can almost always be made better with ice cubes.

* Pork rinds are a part of a low-carb diet.

* Everything happens for a reason. There is a higher power with a plan. You aren’t THAT special in the eyes of God but He does have something in mind, so pay attention.

* When you work, put all your effort into it. If you cannot, find some other work.

* You can date for furniture, but only for a limited time.

000_0485.jpg* Your children’s artwork can be used to embarass them decades later. Be sure to make it prominent.

* Never give in to the IRS. Bastards.

* You are not “too old” to learn something. Ever. EVER.

* You will never make the sale if you don’t ask for the money.

* You will be surprised at what a little creativity, a thrift store, some paint and a glue gun can do for your house.

* Speaking of, be bold with the colors. White, off-white, light-white, ecru, etc. should not be a part of living space.

* 2 am is never too late for you and your drunk friends to wake your only son in order to settle a question.

* Speaking of calling, mothers have complete access to your 24-hour tech support. Always.

* Strength comes in many forms. You ARE strong enough.

* Exercise. Mind, body and spirit must all be pushed in order to function. By doing nothing we guarantee we’ll never hold on to what we have.

* Read. Always read.

* It’s Sunday. Call your mother.

Posted in The Mother | 9 Comments »

9 Responses to “Lessons Learned from Mom”

  1. on 13 May 2007 at 16:47   Jean

    Such a wise lady… not to mention a sense of humor!

    ummm… what’s with the pink play-dough head?

  2. on 13 May 2007 at 18:38   shoe

    i love that sculpture, what’s embarrassing about that? how come the drapes don’t match the table runners? eye mean, how come eyebrows & hair so far off, did your model not dye one to match the other?? do tell. sick muddled mommy minds want to know. great expression, can live on my shelf if your mom ever tires of it.

  3. on 13 May 2007 at 19:33   Chickie

    I like your mom.

  4. on 14 May 2007 at 16:22   Miss B

    excellent! words to live by…

    *hugs*

  5. on 15 May 2007 at 10:50   Richmond

    Good lessons, one and all…

  6. on 15 May 2007 at 14:14   kelly

    I like your mom, too. I like the things she taught you. I can only hope that I taught my sons some of the same.

  7. on 15 May 2007 at 15:57   michele

    Yep, quoting your mom always scores big with the ladies. You should share this tip with Zonker. He needs to score… badly!

  8. on 15 May 2007 at 21:53   Teresa

    “You are not “too old” to learn something. Ever. EVER.”

    I would add to this… if you don’t want to learn anything anymore – you have died and just don’t know it yet.

    *grin*

  9. on 15 May 2007 at 23:30   Pixie

    It’s Tuesday.

    Call your mother.

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