When the Smoke Clears

(Milblog thoughts, part 1)

I went a little crazy. Sorry.

Times have been particularly stressful lately, as if anyone reading the last few posts hadn’t noticed. What should be a period of happiness for me is turning into a headache of massive proportions, but it is the way in which a person handles the difficult times that provide the true measure. I hope to measure up positively in the end, having come to decisions that are only reinforced by more recent events, but that’s not a story for here.

Thursday night I reached out to a friend in-the-know. She made some calls on my behalf and secured a place for me at the Milblogger’s Conference. Friday, I took off from work, calling my “assistant” to have him handle a few things for me while I was out. Unfortunately, I had forgotten I had given him the day off, but with a couple more calls, I had several things handled for the day thanks to coworkers in my division, though not my department.

Unlike the other blogger “conferences” I have attended, this one had a purpose beyond the usual camaraderie and swapping of stories between drinks. They discussed issues related to the military and online journals, especially in light of recently released Army regulations.

Truly I felt out of place, out of my league being treated somewhat like a peer among these fine people. I am a blogger, and I blog on my experiences with the military at times. It should be clear I love my soldiers, the young ones I encounter every day, the elites in all their quiet, confident competence, in the senior officers with whom I work and occasionally earn their trust. But I am not of the same caliber as these men and women who serve or whose spouses serve, even those who were there, dodging the press in order to preserve some of their anonymity. And, of course, please do not forget that while many servicemembers have spouses, they ALL have parents. Meeting Some Soldier’s Mom was a fine experience and she reminded us all of this. With her close cropped hair and her brook-no-nonsense demeanor, it was easy to see why her children turn out to be such upstanding individuals.

The place was overloaded with Angels; real-life Angels from Soldiers’ Angels who do so much work. I never wanted to put them through the expense of sending me a coin, since I wanted all my donation money to go to their projects, so it was nice being able to pick one up along with a pin. These people devote their time and efforts to so many. If we could harness the karmic output generated by the amount of good they do, we’d all be flying to the distant stars by tomorrow. These are ordinary people doing extraordinary things because they want to. You donate, they make it happen. So donate. Even better, also donate to their group Project Valour-IT. It means something to me in particular, especially since I was able to look the fine team in the eyes and thank them personally for so quickly helping one of my own young ones who was in need of a laptop to help with college now that he only has one hand to use for typing.

Matt of Blackfive continued his usual presence in this arena, leading the way to a degree. He’s the guy everyone knows and wants to talk with, considering he has the book, he is on the news and his website is off and running on its own with the occasional comment from him on military matters. I was pretty impressed that he remembered my name even without my nametag after a couple of years. A good, quiet man. (heh… I’ll keep the real intel on him secret… for now.)

Then there was someone I know through all the pictures on his blog and feel a certain familiarity with: Sean Dustman and his cute wife. He’s a medic, like me (though more advanced), he’s a reader-geek, like me, but he has more skills in many areas, and he has a quality of relaxed comfort. I also enjoyed chatting with his wife for a bit. She seemed a little shy, a little overwhelmed by the noise of the crowd at first, but was quickly into the conversations around her. I’m very glad they had the time to explore DC in addition to attending this strange gathering.

One of the great things about places like this is seeing friends who become familiar over the years. And, yes, it is odd noting that I have known some of these people for years though spent very little time with them in person. They also provided a safety net for when I felt completely out of place and not ready to introduce myself to even more people who would have no idea who I was. “It’s When the Smoke Clears,” I’d say reluctantly to slightly raised eyebrows with a slight “oh” and it was clear they would have no idea. “I’m extremely popular with moms,” I’d explain, “It’s cool.” (Well that’s not how it always went. One person from the DoD knew exactly who I was. Apparently I was linked to in a daily brief that went out to the Army once. I don’t know all the details yet, but that might explain why the site has been getting so many unique hits but not many commenters.)

So at those uncomfortable times, I’d fall back on some people I have considered true friends for a while: Tammi, who is, of course, too tall for someone of my fragile ego, but is fun to be around nonetheless. When we leave a thumbprint on someone’s soul, we know we have done something good, and in Tammi’s world, I did introduce her to Yuengling back around the New Years. She is now addicted. And a big congratulations to her on her good news. She was a good dinner companion as well as a lighthouse in a sea of the unfamiliar.

Then there was Teresa. I only had a brief breakfast time to talk with her the last time I saw her up in Tennessee, but we had a lot more time to chat this go around. We shared drinks, we swapped a few stories and I was glad to see she made it all the way out to DC for this fun. Again, another great dinner companion. I also thank her for indulging me as I reflected on “my kids” while flipping through their pictures on my laptop after a particularly potent Mojito.

Next up was my good friend and confidant Army Wife, Toddler Mom. Talk about someone who has left an impression, but she does that on anyone she meets. That’s why she’s one of the best both online and in person. Her husband is certainly a good man to have earned the lifetime of love this lady feels for him. She was busy as one of the centers of attention, but every time she looked my way I had to smile. I didn’t even mind being her little purse-carrying bitch at times.

And prime among my older friends there, Princess Kat. Not only was this fine lady helping me by both getting me in to the conference (using her connection with ever-busy Andi) and providing me a crash pad in her new and very nice house, even guiding me to where I needed to go, she was also on the planning and execution of this whole shin-dig. Talk about someone with class and style. HOWEVER, I noted she and one other lady present both had “Princess” on their name tags and yet they were not wearing tiaras while a few other ladies were. I was SO hoping they’d go pull rank on those princess wannabes. After all, corporals don’t go around with captain’s bars on. Princesses need to protect their street cred. I really cannot say enough nice things about the Kat. She’s fun, she’s funny, and she even gave me a place to stay.

And Kat managed to introduce me to Buckethead who immediately became someone with whom I enjoy hanging around and talking. He used to be a DC rat, but has taken on the quiet life of the small town in the country. Boy can I relate. Granted I don’t have a wife and kids at home but we definitely had a few things in common in spite of his Midwest/Yankee self. Okay, I’ll admit I also wish I had the opportunity to drink more with him and the rest, but the initial 11 hour drive the first night sent me back to sleep before they crashed at… what? 4am? The second night, I bailed out early and went to bed again, while everyone else stayed out and partied like rockstars. I didn’t have it in me this time to keep up. I value my sleep time, especially when I am feeling down as I have been lately.

More to come in a moment…

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