Adventures in Convenience Foods (Part 1)
December 21st, 2006 by rsm
So I’m a food snob. Big deal. Cooking is both how I relax and it is my form of art. Others dabble in paint, I dabble in flavors, trying to create my own combinations or improve on someone else’s “drawing.”
But yesterday I was pressed for time, so I thought I would give something else a shot. Frozen pizza? No. That stuff just rips out the lining in my mouth for some reason. I ended up getting a package of Complete Meals™ from Betty Crocker, some sort of cheesy chicken bake.
First a disclaimer: I know these packaged foods are ideal for many families with kids and working parents, and by working, I include those stay-at-home parents who work constantly. Children’s tastebuds can be odd and if you can prep a meal they will eat for a couple of kids in five minutes, go for it. In addition, $2.50 for a complete main dish? Bargain.
HOWEVER, good lord. First off, the meat and sauce come in a Progresso soup can, a can of which you will never find stocked in the soup aisle. I will say this: Whatever you do, avoid smelling the contents at any point. A large part of my cooking is done by scents. If I were to come across this smell partway through my own preparations, I would take the pot well out into the woods and bury it deeply, at least 300 yards away from a water source.
Then the tired sauce addition. Apparently the stuff in the can was part of a base sauce that had to be modified by a magic powder, kind of like what Kool-aid does to a pitcher of syrupy water. And some pasta and water, mix it all up, cover in foil and bake.
The smell never really goes away, it is only masked.
Once finished, you have to set it aside to “thicken.” In the medical world, we call that the early stages of clotting. Then a topping is added to give it that extra kick.
All in all, not bad, which means not good, either. If pressed for time, I’ll fix a sandwich. Instead I met a friend for a few games of Gin and dinner.
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™ Complete Meals is a trademark of Betty Crocker, which is owned by General Mills (who never served in the military, it turns out) who in no way endorse or sponsor the blog. If they would like to, however… you know what? never mind. Seriously. I even prefer Old Pioneer over Bisquick. Maybe you could throw a can or two of green beans at me, but that’s about it. Maybe some salsa. Thanks though. Talk to the guys at CamelBak if you have any connections, though.
Oh say it ain’t so….YOU preparing pre-packaged food? I think my world has just shifted off its axis! My core has stopped spinning! I must now retire to the dark cavernous recesses of my bedroom and watch some um…movies…to recenter myself. Pray for my recovery. I’m now in a very delicate condition thanks to you!
Ewww. I’m with you…I don’t do the packaged thing..and you know what? My little kids are just fine with that…and my bigger kids are REALLY just fine with that.
And, yeah, I tried one of those once. They almost LYNCHED me. That meat is…FAKE…just uck. Why is it all that stuff smells like DOG FOOD? Ewww, just ewww…couldn’t you just feel your arteries clogging??
Ok, sorry…
Since additives give me horrendous migraines I no longer even consider dabbling in such things. Now I find that even the most innocuous seeming additive will give the “food” it’s meant to enhance, a metalic flavor.
While I’ve made my share of hideous meals… the bulk of them were when my kids were in grade school and I was going to school for my CS degree, working, and trying to take care of the family too, while my husband was working 60 hour weeks. (the housework part was fairly evenly split… the kids did require lots of time during the afternoons though)
If I knew then that the reason I was living on Excedrin was because of the food, not the one hour of sleep a night – I would have gladly chucked the “quick” meals for better stuff. Heh.
Will you teach me your culinary secrets? Not all of them, of course… family secrets must be kept so… but just a few?