You Know You’re a Bad-ass American When…
February 4th, 2006 by rsm
1. You can recite the First Amendment word-for-word just to shut up the people who say you are violating their right to free speech by stating you disagree with them.
2. You’ve been invited shooting at a gun-manufacturer’s corporate headquarters.
3. You own an assortment of boot-knives for your different boots.
4. You can quickly chow-down on a bowl of plain rice just using chopsticks.
5. You’re mind doesn’t explode at the thought of a restaurant that serves Mexican, Italian and Southern fried foods all at the same counter within 60 seconds of ordering. (and you don’t try to justify that it isn’t “real” authentic food.)
6. You can repair your truck then go straight inside and make a delicious meal for your sweetheart.
7. You know Jack Nicholson had the best, strongest character in A Few Good Men.
8. You’ve ever walked away from a vehicle-rollover accident.
9. Your name is “Chuck Norris”
10. You’ve ever been a one-person ethnic minority at an event and didn’t notice until afterwards.
11. You can change the oil, fix a leaky faucet, read a book for fun, and saddle and ride a horse.
12. You regularly get a little watery-eyed at the playing of the National Anthem.
13. You’ve shaken hands and talked with a WW II veteran.
14. You’ve lived in another country and learned how much you truly love your own.
Good stuff, but two questions:
Are you a Bad-ass American? (Too new a reader to be sure if you have all 14?)
What would you classify someone with only 7 of the 14? Typical? Sheep? (Please be merciful in your response!)
you only have to have a few. Not all are required. Otherwise, only Chuck Norris would be a badass. These are just guideposts on the road indicating you’re headed in the right direction. (I’ve only got 12 of the 14 but welcome other suggestions… still can’t deal with the KFC/Pizza Hut/Taco Bell combo… and thank you for reading.)
“Angels sang out in immaculate chorus, Down from the heavens descended Chuck Norris…”
A few of my favorites…
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris puts the m’s on M&Ms.
There are in fact 31 letters of the English Alphabet however only Chuck Norris knows what the extra 5 letters are.
Occasionally Chuck Norris will call up the Power Rangers just to say hi.
Chuck Norris can believe it’s not butter
Add another?